previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
feel guilty as I feel because I feel guilty I think of survivor remorse yeah just uh just just a little
bit so where's your boss friend my boss's name is is Axel Axel Morelli and his headquarters
is in is in Hellgate Dell you round a final bend that opens up into a larger clearing you're
sitting with Johnson she mentioned how much she how much she loved the two of you how you were
how you were family to her I raise my glass and I say to Nulara she saved us all
you're here welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons we're a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast and I'm
your dungeon master Russ More who wasn't just crying like a little like a little cry like a
little bitch yep that's me also with us yeah also with me today is my lovely wife Amy
Stone Cold, Amy More, Heart of Stone, I Don't Cry, I play Thea Amastasia, and brother in cry
Tom Laird, yep that's me I play FlintFirebeard, how's everybody doing today?
good so good tapping into emotions it's so good we thought the finale was a was a heavy episode man
hoo doggy thank you for listening to that last episode and welcome to this episode it'll be a
little lighter hopefully we'll see see how it goes I'm hoping it's heavy on the kiln oh all
right I can get behind this light on emotion heavy on kiln you know where there is any as
an adventure that is heavy on the killing where is over on Patreon Patreon.com slash dumb dragon
cast where we have a whole bunch of bonus episodes by this point probably pretty close
to 30 hours of bonus episodes dang that's a lot varying stories but the main one that
we do over there is run by our good friend Tom here Teary Tom Teary Tom yeah that's the one
yeah it's a it's set in Faerun but it's a it's a homebrew campaign that I've been
making as we go and it's been super fun so far has been I've gotten to throw bodies on top of
like trip stones and shit it's fun times so we play that over there it's for patrons only
although if you scroll way back in the feed there is uh like the first episode of it is in
the regular feed and it only gets better from there it does like like all of our stuff we
are like a fine wine better with age yeah it's fun when the the first time ever that you dm
it's recorded for a podcast so hey carla and i were there too oh yeah not as long standing
as yours so you demand tom you demand thank you not only do i like to throw you guys
into the dm fire but you know i'd like to commit you to multi-year campaigns none of this one
shot bullshit no anyways Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast and when you become a patron we
dedicate an episode to you to one of you every episode and today's episode is dedicated to
aLex aLex thanks aLex thank you thank you aLex Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast
fuck it let's play dnd okay we find ourselves in the moonbrook community the ceremony with
her family has taken place and it's a couple days later at this point um you two have uh
have decided to stick around and just kind of collect yourselves before heading back out on
the road and we find you in the morning getting ready to do so as i'm putting on my weapons and
stuff um i look over and i go but really when i sang in the arms of the angels was it too
was it too much it it uh it felt right in the moment i was asking flint but that's good
it's important to you too rulin i didn't know who else was there rulin takes his head he's like he
was just peeking through the window it's like yeah just okay bye yeah thanks i mean he's he's
not wrong it was a little much but also you could tell it was from the heart so it was
it was good all right i think she maybe would have hated it oh she 100 would have hated it
oh good okay good did it justice then um
i guess we head back to water deep i mean yeah like where where where do we go
what do we really should have talked about this beforehand
oh should we summon one of those trains
ones yeah do you know how to do that no but i'm sure that if we ask someone we'll figure it out
okay here here's an idea we walk out we have all of our stuff right because we want we do not
want to be ill prepared for this okay and then so we just stand where there's a clearing
and we just go i mean i don't remember us doing that in the past but i'm on board for
it and then hopefully we'll be on board the train am i right right i assume we high five
yeah 100 we did well let's go call ourselves a train i mean what the hell can't hurt right
um we go outside and is reuben still ruling ruling reuben spooky ruling is ruling still
just no he's he's gone off he left not well he didn't leave but he's like milling about doing
things chores a ruling i think we're i think it's time we head off of of of course uh you're
always always welcome um as as johnsik has probably said to many times is this is your
home if you need it you uh you let us know if that clown over in uh hellgate dell is giving
you any trouble we'll come right back like we split take care of it of course thank you
thank you how do we get a hold of you just send a letter to
the leo sin probably yeah yeah that's probably best good good okay we will thank you
um you say your we don't have to do goodbyes with everybody but you say your goodbyes with
everybody and you climb back aboard um your carriage with tiny clip-clop and buttercup
and all right the horses we can't just take the train head back out on the road that a
magic train would have oh could probably accommodate the horses yeah good call how big
do you imagine this train to be i thought it was quite small like the hogwarts express
that's a big train well no but not like compartment wise like their normal train train
well yeah but i mean i'm sure it has cargo trains anyway anyway we're on we're on the
carriage now that train has passed it has sailed uh mixed metaphor yeah so okay here i think we
head back to water deep we talk to leo sin i don't know about you i feel like gaping hole
in my life that needs to be filled and it's either going to be adventure alcohol or drugs
you with me uh i'm with you on the adventure aspect i've always needed like a thing
to go do i'm not good at just sitting around uh so let's let's go do some stuff let's do a
thing okay yeah oh wait we were giving one of the horses to the moon brook estate correct yes
we were we were going to give which one was Nularas tiny was tiny's mine clip clops mine so
it's buttercup buttercup okay uh so yes you leave buttercup with the moon brooks i turn back
to donnie and i say donnie we we love having you here and if you want to we would love you
to come with us but if you feel like you you are more at home here with Nularas family we
we would understand i um i'm just gonna assume we could take him maybe should have
talked about this previously i guess but um previously i'm just a dragon right there's
a lot of flashback scenes here um there's a lot to take care of in the wake of someone's
death we don't even know stop rushing us right no um well i mean
i mean you i don't really know donnie will you stay yeah yeah yeah i'll stay yeah it's fine
i'll say i'll stay with his i give him a hug he reciprocates i think he would i would think
half arms yeah they got arms they got yeah he reciprocates it's around like the neck area
you're hugging that well yeah but it's what's on the inside of the account
i feel like donnie and i should come up with some sort of a real elaborate handshake
okay you need to show him the picture i think you might lose some digits on a real elaborate
handshake with him armor and stuff i think i'd be all right is donnie's a medium dragon right
like he's huge yeah but that's cool yeah no there's a handshake
and at the end he blows fire at you but you hold your shield up and then you go
i like it donnie climbs in the back with you and he is um he is a companion of yours
neat let's go i hope we find those guys again to be honest it was just a it was just a little
fun you know regular evildoers oh the guys we ran into before yeah yeah i mean i wouldn't
i wouldn't be opposed to it but there's gonna be lots of guys to run into like that
god i can't wait hey remember that time that uh we fought that oh that um that sucky bitch
oh shit yeah jesus oh she comes back maybe we'll run into her some unfinished business
oh god yeah let's make a list of people who've wronged us and that we should probably tie up
those loose ends because there's a lot it's not the worst idea i've ever heard we got time to
kill on this carriage ride yeah oh remember um i know you know this about me and how great i
am with names do you remember um high elf mcwizard dumb face oh with the brains in
the jars and all the sure sure sure sure what was his name i don't know i need the first
letter though if i'm given the first letter t the ocean that that is prinsbane that is
no that's not right felonious felonious prinsbane yeah he's kind of hot though
oh yeah you had a little thing for him yeah well you know it's like the
well i mean until you saw the brains in the jars and then it was like oh no thank you
yeah it was really weird okay so we got him okay uh there was there was a sucky bitch
okay um who else do we have on this list oh yeah don't you got something going on with
you there that you gotta take care of oh yeah oh i mean unless you want to look like this
any i mean gestures to himself i don't know if that's how that happens but there ain't
nothing wrong with the way you look friend uh but yeah i should probably probably nip this
one in the bud hey so red wizards uh no uh arcane brotherhood all right i say we get that taken
care of first right i know they gave us a list of stuff at one point but fucked if i could remember
what it is it's such a long time i think that notebook got burned up i think there was some
sort of amulet of wonder though if i remember us correctly amulet of wonder that doesn't even
ring a bell oh but i've done a lot of drugs i mean we could always go back and check with them i
guess i mean if we're heading back anyway to talk to Leosin might as well were they in a different
town i can't remember uh they were in luskin was their headquarters but i mean there's gotta
be like an ambassador there right that we could just chat with likely you continue traveling
for a couple hours and you turn a corner and the road ahead of you is blocked by a pool of lava
oh my god yes what is this
no any thoughts really what is this it looks like i mean flaming hot lava in the middle of
the road it's uh it's unexpected yeah in in a forested area and all um i jump off the carriage
not into the lava yeah it's a it's a head away from where i pick up a rock and i throw it into
the lava um it hits the lava and seemingly like melts into it this seems like a great way to
like get rid of stuff oh yeah i mean probably not great for the environment for recycling
purposes but yeah just to get rid of things yeah do you do you have things you want to
get rid of no but i mean like if we had come across those guys and there were bodies i need
to be disposed of anyway um this is is it like a concentrated like a puddle literally like the
size yeah of the reference so like a six by six yeah they're both six by six puddle of okay i
can i make an investigation or like a perception check to see like what is
yeah in what's what
it's an investigation yes okay 17 um you uh you're looking at it and you're getting closer
to it and you don't really feel a lot of heat coming off of it guys it's not it's not that
hot i put my hands out like i'm warming myself as you get closer it's not the heat that you
having just come from the inside of a volcano this is not this is it feels like nothing
i toss another rock in and i look real closely make an arc and it's not really going to tell
you anything um would it be a nature check like do i know if this happens in nature
just like sometimes go nature or arcana spontaneous lava pools spontaneous lava pools
uh well nature is only a plus two which is weird because i'm a druid but arcana is a seven so that's
a 19 it um there's a bit of like it's it seems very out of place like there shouldn't be a pool
of lava here can i like investigation check and see if i see anything out of the ordinary
besides this pool of lava sure come on goodness that is a 22
uh you as you hop down and they're looking around you um you don't see anything out of
the ordinary everything seems to be in in place kind of along you don't see any signs of people
or um or anything else in the trees for that matter um you also one giant pile of lava on the
road you also um as you get closer you don't feel any heat being emitted from it um and
with the 22 you i mean both of you begin to sense that maybe there's something magical about
it well i had that feeling from the get-go lava doesn't just appear in places unless it does
sure uh flint okay so um i think this is straight up magic lava okay it's not hot
i'm not super good with magic so i'm gonna defer to your thoughts on this the things we
throw into it do they do they look like they burn up or do they just it kind of it looks like
they are being like sucked into and as you would toss something into lava it looks like
it's melting or burning so if like a terminator fell into this lava pool would he have the
strength to put the thumbs up out always or would he just be gone you got to find a
terminator before we know the true answer to this okay tibby the age-old riddle tibby if a terminator
falls in the lava pool in the woods does he have the strength to give the thumbs up yeah and if
anyone's around to see it does he give the thumbs up at all good question three thumbs it
up i i don't know i feel like this is kind of portal-esque donnie have you ever seen anything
like this before uh like a mist like a mad magically appearing lava pool lava pool i mean
if only there was a way to tell if it was magic or not well i for sure believe in my heart and
hearts it's magic but i guess i'm gonna detect magic on it so i put my hands over top of it
and i go tell me what kind of magic you are you magic magic hey you magic hey you magic
you do so and it begins to glow for you with this aura that surrounds the entire pool
and as you move closer to inspect it there definitely is no heat coming off of it but you
also sense that it is some sort of illusion spell
well it's magic somebody put it here somebody put it here to stop people because this is just a
trick i take one step into the lava all right am i like hanging on to her what's happening
you tell me do you just step i'm impulsive i'm just stepping in what are you doing flint
i am caught off guard by the fact that you're just stepping into it um flint you fall in i go
fuck you you see the uh begin to move to step into the lava uh her foot hits the top of it
and as the stones that you tossed into did it begins to envelop around and looks like
it's burning you feel no heat from it and as you step down it's about four to six inches until you
hit ground there's no heat your foot is fine and you have stepped onto the ground beneath this but
but i don't tell him that and i and i scream out in pain i go oh god oh god and i rush
forward to to grab her to pull her back out of it and i just jumped just out of your reach
fully into the puddle and go jk it's an illusion it's meant to stop passerby's
i bet someone's already raided our someone's probably taking over shit right now we've been
looking at this fucking puddle lava i turned around to look at the the cart seemingly untouched
oh i was wrong about pilfering but we can just drive right through this if we can convince
the horses it's fine all right uh i'm gonna use whoever's riding or driving
do an animal handling yeah well i was going to grab them by the by the reins and lead them
through it's still an animal handling oh i've got a plus nine to animal handle well i'm a
minus one that's a 20 minus one i don't even know why i have a horse
uh 20 uh yeah there's some initial resistance but as they kind of notice that you yourself
are walking in and they've got them kind of blinders on they walk through and you make
it through this lava pool illusion unscathed lava pollution we solved the lava pool puzzle
okay well that was weird
yeah do you think we're gonna run into like more shit like that oh god i hope so
i'm like thrill seeker thea at this point like i just fucking want just like whatever man
all right i hop back up on the on the carriage is it a carriage cart cart
i've been calling it a carriage but it's all the same shit yeah yeah um yeah you
you hop back up on and you carry on your way
down the road a ways you begin to hear um the sound of i get oh hold on make a perception check
20 also pretty good
good well i didn't have my page open for my bonus 17 just trust me it's also pretty good
um you hear muffled what sound like from the tone the insults being thrown back it like back
and forth between two different voices spells being thrown off you hear like ice being
formed and breaking that's what you hear at this moment hey do you hear fighting yeah it sounds
like uh like wizards why does everyone immediately think wizards when there are spells being
thrown oh i guess it's just like that default assumption but that's right i shouldn't i
shouldn't assume thank you should we go and see what's up yeah yeah uh sorry again about
the spell shaming hey no that's okay estherids we're you know we didn't we didn't study for it
it's just you know whatever it's fine arguably the arguably never mind arguably i think if you
can't say arguably you shouldn't be able to argue after that probably the sentence has to
stop there it does and it does you carry on a little more ways and the the sounds are
getting louder and you begin to see like ice walls being thrown up all sides and as you get
close you see one massive ice wall that cuts across and beyond it you can kind of see figures
casting these spells on the other side of the ice wall but it appears impassable
from your current standpoint too if you were to try to go around i try to oh sorry go ahead
i was gonna say do these figures appear to be casting them at one another or are they
just like showing off um look what i can do from the from the tone of voice and you can
begin to hear um more still more muffled uh phrases but things like you sissy nanny pants
you stole my spell book oh god you're right all right i i yell over the wall um excuse me
we're back in the middle
we need more middle songs well i'm the only i mean there's that jimmy world middle song
that we've never used which is sort of surprising maybe two on the nose said marin morris and
gray with the middle that one was popular this year yeah that one yeah um well we're
here i like the russia ridges though yeah they're much better yeah right those are better
yeah that's that's what i go for keep them up brass we love them thank you thank you um where i
sing all the time not no not true i haven't sung a lot lately in the latest season i need
to up my game on the singing we'll work on that we'll work on that yeah is over on Patreon
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast we've got uh beginning in september which is now we had uh
added a whole bunch of new tier options some really cool stuff including a whole bunch of
exclusive bonus content that you can get your your your your no not really your hands on but
your ears on get your digital hands all over it that's right what are some of those bonus
content things oh maybe like the side scroller episodes that i dm those ones those are bonus
contents they come out every 15th of the month and right now i do believe uh the players are
in a fun baking competition they certainly are in a fun baking competition i'm thinking that
they're gonna do really well i'm assuming so maybe maybe i wasn't rolling very good but
we'll see we'll see how it goes um we also debuted our new show over on Patreon
previous long-running patrons have heard some of the episodes already but we have more episodes
coming for a new show facing fate which launches january 2020 that seems like a long
way away but it's really not but it's not very far away and if you're a patron you're
gonna be able to hear it ahead of everybody else we are releasing weekly episodes right now i think
we're up to episode three next week that's coming out and then there will be 10 episodes
that all come out for patrons exclusively before they're available to the public
so we want you to go check that out um as well we were just together for a really cool
live show did we tell you about the live show that's the thing that happened we were
in edmonton it was wonderful we weren't allowed to swear and we did it i think we did it yeah we
didn't swear we did it we checked all the boxes we hit the time limit we didn't swear
it was a great time and that's going to be available to patrons as soon as i'm able to
get it edited but again it will be available to patrons before everybody else so go check
that out at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast please and thank you now let's get you back to the episode
welcome to facing fate an anthological audio fiction actual play podcast what does that
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you will find two 10 episode seasons every year starting january 2020 in the facing fate feed
each season will take you through a different setting different genre
and different characters going through thrilling exhilarating and maybe hilarious
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carla max dead and tom laird we will bring you along on a shared journey together season
one of facing fate titled lunacorp begins january 2020 lunacorp is a sci-fi thriller
placing you among the crew of a near future moon base mining for an alternate energy source
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it was my spell book you stole it in the first place
so hello what
ahoy what uh what seems to be the problem there gents
no nobody nobody's here you're you're talking right now no yeah also someone made this big
ice wall it's super impressive i would love to meet the person who made this ice wall oh
you're too you're too kind and a um a doorway in the ice wall opens up kind of melts away
and opens up and you see two men one very stick thin very old like like how are you alive
kind of how are you alive kind of old the skin is just like hanging off of his bones
but he's got big smile rosy cheeks um the other man he's a very burly kind of he's got that
a spiraled mustache um very slicked over and very well done hair and he's standing
very perturbed like a few steps back and the older man he comes forward and he says yes well
that that was me who created this how did you get past the lava you you're not supposed to
step inside lava we well we were trying to keep people away so we put that that fun thing there
what are you keeping people away from our our our fisticuffs here oh is it like a wizard's
duel heath i can't remember which voice i was using when when when i said that you stole my
spell book but i think he's i think he stole my spell book i did not steal your spell book i
took my spell book back oh you didn't write your name in it oh look it says dandel's
spell book right here who's dandel i am dandel he is dandel and it says his name in the book
he wrote it look at it he just scrawled he scratched it in there with a knife right
now oh just right now dandel that's in poor form i am armix the great you seem like fine travelers
what what brings you through this what's let me get this let me get this thing out of the way
here he dispels the ice wall are we battling still yes yes in a moment i have a question
fire away my dear can you not share the spell book no you can't share
secrets you can't share a wizard's spell book but if you've both read it yeah how did he have
it in the first place then i don't know what you're talking about
could you help me get my spell book back you hold him down all like rub dirt in his face or
something wow that sounds like a super mature way to deal with this yeah what what if you had
a competition and the winner wins the rights to own the book who did we could be judges
oh what what kind of competition would we do a magic competition obviously well yeah you were
you were the ones who who used their illusion magic to to make that lava on the on the path
and then made the ice wall it was good it was very believable five minutes five minutes that's
all well i mean she knows a thing or two about magic it would have stopped me a lot longer oh
you're a wizard as well no huh she's the druid she's the druid oh you're one of the earthen
types yes you draw from the land you don't have to say it like that i didn't ask you you
seem like good people still no nevertheless nevertheless um okay so we have a we have
a competition um well let's say that we perhaps hand over the book to you and we cast because
you know about magic we cast one of the spells in the book and if we get it if either of us
get that one right the very hardest one or the one that you pick perhaps if we get that
right then then it's truly that person's book of course of course why not this um this seems
like a rigged situation well sir if it's really your book of course you know all the spells
yeah you would have it inside and out memorized i i would i would have it inside and out
memorized so there's nothing to worry about for you nothing to worry about for me so hand
over the book i'm not a wizard these spells would be absolutely useless to a lowly druid
such as myself also not a wizard over here if you can tell peg peg you is not a wizard
bear scarred one i mean it's pretty obvious but just thought i'd let you know for sure
put your mind at ease in case you were wondering he takes a few steps towards you and
kind of two hands holding the book out past the other wizard and i rip off my face mask
to reveal a wizard underneath this entire time i played the long game for this spell book
he hands it over to you to just kind of in both of your general direction
i take the book he res there's resistance i'm pulling back i take and he releases it fine thank
you oh choose choose a spell one of the most difficulty can we can we have a little aside
to decide here sure yes of course of course of course and they go back kind of off to the
side there and like finally gonna get my spell book back what if what if we make them cast us a
wish do we know what that spell does uh wish is the mightiest spell a mortal creature can cast
by simply speaking aloud you can alter the very foundations of reality in accord with your
desires basically that's the most powerful spell in the game now do these wizards know that spell
tom you roll a d20 amy you choose odds or evens evens no odds 17
the spell is in there
there or what you can presume is that is a it says wish and it describes some components
and has some somatic and verbal directions beside it
okay so my first thing like what do what do we want them to what are we wishing for
um
oh geez we have we have to be careful things like this can go bad really quickly
you know like you wish that someone would fall in love with you and that person becomes
like completely obsessed with you and ends up like murdering you in a lover's rage sure
yeah it becomes like a real single white female situation yeah so i don't know what that
means but yes it sounds like that it was a movie from the early 90s uh where like this
woman gets a roommate and then the roommate like obsesses over the other person's life
and tries to like kill everyone in her life and yada yada yada anyway so it's like a
psychosexual thriller what's a movie that was out of game oh that was out of game okay
okay i think that i think we should i don't know can you wish someone to tell the truth
about the book oh that's real smart
one always lies one always tells the truth right which one is it
should we try that out where's that can happen is we're back to where we are and
we just get them to do another spell i mean i feel like we should ask for something impartial
towards the book because that way neither one of them will have any like ulterior motive i know
i wish i had my bag of holding back it's a good wish without any of the items inside
because i i want those to remain with the dragon i'm into it let's do it that's what
i was wanting to give at the beginning during the big meeting with the dragons
i was i i said i could have they could have everything in my bag of holding
and then they took the bag and i wanted the backpack no she wanted the bag because
it was a stolen bag oh the bag was stolen really yeah i don't i don't recall i don't
yeah she wanted the bag and then you just forgot to take all your shit out that's how
that went oh right yes i did okay then um i just wish for a new bag of holding
i'm into it let's do it okay all right
magnanimous wizards yes yes what what have you decided something something very difficult
obviously i have a wish a wish a wish um my my dear i don't i try i'm trying very hard
not to look down but wish spells can be difficult difficult i turn toward flint and i say
i'm did i mishear them did they not want the most difficult spell i mean no that is what they
what they said and they also were talking up their abilities pretty highly so i feel like
this is a good ask i don't wish for anything grand i wish i had a bag of holding
see i used to have one but i don't anymore and while i don't wish to have that bag of holding
back i would like a new one can it be done um well of of of course of course it can be
done yes yes it's really quite easy actually some may say that you you don't even have to
break a sweat over something like that this is well confident dandel says okay
you wish for a bag of holding anything else being wished for that seems like a rather small
use of such a spell flint is there anything you wish for i suppose if they do have to separately
oh they do both have to cast wish don't they oh okay what if i could speed this along this
entire thing and just flickily split just get you what you need well getting us what i need
and creating what we ask for are two different things that's true good sir kids that's very
true but she has wished for a bag of holding yes yes the wizard rus before you go forward
yeah are there any like missing dwarven relics that i'm aware of through my history knowledge
um a former king of mithral hall brunor battle hammer his axe was lost in a battle before he
was uh before his kinghood was transferred it is a single bladed axe with a gold handle
handle um and carved within it is the symbol of clan battle hammer which is a foaming mug
so if i were to if this axe were to magically appear in front of
uh flint he would know it without question yep yeah okay okay uh well good wizards i do
have a request then can you i wish for you to present me the axe of one brunor battle hammer
um okay great
cool so and the the the one to complete this task
quickest or first or how do we want to determine this well i don't think both of you are going
to be able to complete it so whoever does complete the task within what do we say an hour
what's the castings hold on it's instantaneous oh within like right fucking now so a five
minute time limit whoever can do it in five minutes chop style says uh all right one axe
and one bag of holding coming up they begin uh separately to
recite incantations each sounds slightly different than the other can i try to follow
along in the book i assume the incantation is written down it's a spell book right
yep can i follow along um yeah neither sound exactly like what's written there okay
i can't wait for our magical axe bag that attacks us to show up it's gonna be good both
there's no success or fail on this it's just happens it just happens but fucking wish but
i mean only one of them should know the spell correct if we determine this correctly you would
think dandel finishes his incantation and a glow begins to form within his hands um and it
spreads out um to begin to form a long-handled single-headed axe as it comes into view
to Armex finishes his incantation and in a swirl of light and sparkle a bag
flumps into his hand so great well the axe begins to form and it is clear as day the
axe that went missing from brunor battle hammer
and Armex walks over to thea and hands you this bag says there's your bag my dear
i take it um i tuck the book under my arm and i and i take it and i inspect the bag
i cast detect magic on it sure because it should be a fucking magical bag yeah is it
magical fucking bag uh it is a magical fucking bag it is a bag of holding you also um do i see
anything like embossed on it emblazoned um it it looks you tell me what the bag looks like
uh the bag is messenger bag style yeah it's got that flap and on it it is embossed i guess stamped
with um it's a brown bag stamped with green leaves and vines that go along the edge but
otherwise very simple it'd go with anything yeah awesome i did really put my hand into the
bag to see if there's anything inside of it uh there doesn't appear to be anything inside of
it that's unusual empty bag of holding okay it's brand new well done Armex um your detect
magic yep your detect magic also picks up um two varying degrees of conjuration magic a very
powerful aura coming from this axe and a much lesser aura coming from kind of Armex and the bag
Armex you you did cast wish to get this bag did you not
of course i granted your wish to get you this bag my no no no no no no you didn't i did not
want you to grant my wish to get me this bag but i wanted you to cast wish to get me this bag
and i did i don't answered your wish to get you the bag okay book please slap his hand away
it is very clear to me who the winner of this challenge is
is you see his we're gonna have to fight him you see his eyes begin to glow
a deep red and he says give me the book
no no you know what let me think about it for a minute i'm gonna say no
yeah no yeah i'm gonna have to say no this was fair and square except you didn't use the spell
dandel sees Armex getting very agitated and he says you need to run now
as his eyes begin to glow red and you see a ball of flame begin to form in his hands
i mean we should probably be running it i throw the book at dandel yep throw the book at
dandel throw the book at him amy i saw the book no i literally toss the spell book at dandel
um he it flies through the air and Armex looks at it as it's flying through the air and it hits
dandel's hand the axe drops to the ground and unless you're doing anything else make a deck
save i mean he wasn't able to throw the axe to me while he was catching the book
17 plus oh nat 20 oh bitch yeah 19 i feel like i've got the most dexterity ever known
you have all the decks or dwarf you're so dexterous a massive ball of fire erupts
from Armex he casts fireball dandel in an instant quickly sees you two running and conjures
shield in front of your carriage and shields you a bit but shields your horses from the
fire blast you're going to take some damage that seems fair yep half 86
at least the horses are okay
how do i feel like on my nat 20 i should take 25 percent of 86 but 10
22 so you take 11 fire damage as you dive into the trees and you see your horses rear up
as they are protected and shielded by dandel and the spell that he cast
they turn and face each other and begin firing spells back and forth at each other again
do we have anything like a net or a hook or a net with hooks on it
maybe what's your plan here flint you tell me what your plan is and justify why it would be
in there my plan is to tie something to the end of my dwarven thrower that will maybe hook
that axe and bring it on back to me while it flies on by you know don't stop never give up
hold your high and reach the top show the whole world what you have got bring it all back to me
i could potentially just like pop over there real fast they're they're slinging spells like
back and forth like high casted high damaged spells at each other i don't think it's a good
idea for us to like wade back into that minefield but if i could maybe like snag that
axe with the old boomerang hammer yeah we'll say that if you may as you you can probably
make it back to uh make it back to the carriage and yeah i mean sure you've got it in the back
there you got to make a make an attack throw just give me a plus the weapons bonus sure all
right okay uh yeah so i jury rig mcgyver style something together to uh to maybe like scoop this
axe back up on its flight back like you know those tire strips how they're like only one
way so if you drive over them the other way they're like free and clear so yeah i'll
set that up so that if it flies over it one way it's okay but when it flies back it like
digs into the ground a little and like i like it on over yeah uh so that is a 27
for the door and thrower as lightning bolts and flames are being shot all around ice being
carved up the walls again you throw your door open hammer it cuts between these two wizards
and zips back but as the rope kind of clears through not only does it catch your axe but
it clears the feet out from under the wizards and they fall to the ground the axe comes back
tumbling back to the care it doesn't make quite make it all the way to you but it it makes it
to the carriage i'm gonna grab it and then we're gonna get the fuck out of here uh you
notice there is another path that uh a ways back you turn the other way so as not to get
in the midst of these two battling wizards and you head back to that other path going back
to water oh they crazy how long do you think they've been battling i think a while
i think our mix was young when they started
but hey you got that sweet bag there i do finally have a new bag of holding
feels good and i got this axe that we've been looking for for fuck millenniums pretty much oh
that's good maybe they'll make you king because of it i mean i don't want to be king i just want
to put it back to mithral hall where it belongs yeah i guess that's okay too okay i mean
really it's just a ceremonial axe more than anything it's sure sure yeah i got it
it you guys head back uh you're talking along the way i mean fyi russ if they want to make
flint king whatever i'm down for it but like that's not his angle here we'll get there
when we get there do you want me to hold your axe i show my bag i mean let's maybe
put something a little less valuable in it first to make sure that it's a proper working
bag of holding before we put that uh super valuable axe that just got returned to us
yeah okay fair enough i take a pen from a pen yeah like a quill quill yeah quill pen
yeah sure yeah like a fountain pen i assume that they if they i mean leonis has got to be
writing with something if they forced weapons yeah no i think you i think you took some
yeah fountain pens i always have fountain pens with me oh you did you stole them from the one
desk i sure did yeah i put i put one into the bag of holding it goes in and then i
reach in to take it out and it comes out oh all right i've seen enough for me he answered
your wish i guess i mean i thought it might be some sort of trick bag of holding maybe
especially with the look on russ's face but i mean all right let's see what other
shenanigans we can get up to on the road home
the songs nowhere land healing in photos and the machine thinks are by Kavin mcleod of
incompetech.filmmusic.io if you like what you're hearing consider supporting the show
by visiting Patreon.com dumb dragon cast it's a couple days later um Nulara has been um
the ceremony to bury no fuck it has been disposed of that's what he was gonna say
no that wasn't i was gonna say you know you can compost humans now just saying you
continue traveling for a couple roads couple roads just a couple roads just a couple roads
this is fun you're playing settlers of katana and you've built four roads
it's not the longest road they're not joining though no it's not the longest road
got to get that middle piece Dumbgeons and dragons is a dumb dragons production